I AM OVER MY CRUSH!!!! WOW!! i have no feeling for him. sure i think hes cute but doesnt mean im all thinkin bout him. that ho ruined my crush which i wanna thank and hate her for. shes been all over him and hes been kinda bein quiet with me and doin things that tick me off so that combo jus pushed me away. no more pain. IM FREE FROM HIM! AWSOME!! tho part of me regrets it, u kno...it was an intense feeling like love but most of me is relieved that i dont have hope in gettin wit him. fuck him!!

fucking great! now i can revert to my old numb self. 

also my social life has increased a bit which feels good.

forget to remember

 its been awhile. i finally finished my manga! i present it for my grad project on wenesday. wish me luck! im nervous x.x. i havent had time to be down for about a week..since friday. i have no tiem to stop and think about my life and how it sucks. it feels good to not dwell on it. im not exactly happy but im not exactly sad in this state. its odd..but id rather feel this than be sad u kno?

You and I...colide.

 man having a crush SUCKSSSSSS. ugh im in pain! and i kno nothing more could ever come true so that is why having a crush is painful. dammit. but its cool jus to stay as it is, just talking and having fun i guess. w/e. im used to bein like that. nothing more. puwah...i wanted to post to just pdate and i have kind of alot to talk about but im too lazy and dont have the words neither the enrgy to speak it. i dont want to write either because it makes it more real..worse pain. blah. i need a sess pic.

awsome o.o

ja ne! minna-sama.

Every color I think in

Experience -

The concert was simple amazing. beyond words to explain. i cant express myself the way i want to...

Trent was amazing my goodness he was a god on stage. my god. the idol of my torture. for those hours i thought of nothing. no suffering, no pain, no hate, no stress, no loneliness...i was happy for those few hours. as i shouted his lyrics i felt everything melt away. it was calm, still. i loved it. i miss it. those few hours as little as they were saved me from my world. i was myself, i let my true self come out. i screamed...yelling all of my worries away! it felt GOOD!! it wasnt untill half way through the car ride home that i remembered everything and it all came back - the pain..the hate..the loneliness and i thought it wasnt fair.

my smile disapeared. persona was put back up.

but i want to thank Trent for those blissful hours. he gave me more than anyone has.

i wont share my Twix.

 well this moring i came into school and as i was walking i saw spots on blood on the floor....lol. pretty cool cuz halloween is around the corner. anyway its freezing and im cold and i have to study for my AP U.S exam tommorow for 5 hours so wish me luuuccckkkk even tho theres no such trhing as luck, u'll learn that in psychology class ^^;;. november 5th is around the corner which means NIN CONCERT TIME!! WOOOOOOOOOOHH! NEXT WEEK! dude im sooo stoked!!! I DESERVE THIS SO MUCH.

preview for this Saturday's inuyasha ep!

tis a great one.

ja ne! minna-sama!